My most recent promotion, to corporal, leaves me in the position of a Team Leader in an infantry line squad. This means I have three other men, all younger than me in this instance, under my direct command. Command means they do what I say, when I say it. This is the most terrifying responsiblity I can imagine.

Today I had to stand in front of one of these men and cut the rank off his collar, taking something from him that he'd worked for nearly two years to earn, enduring the look on his face with an expression of utter discompassion on mine. Those of you not in the military, which if I'm not mistaken is practically all of you, probably can't understand the sheer humiliation of having your rank taken away from you. We take a lot of pride in what we do. Whether that's healthy or not, sometimes that pride, in ourselves, our countries, and our duty, is the only thing that keeps us going. Ripping those tiny cloth squares off of that young man's uniform was the hardest thing I've had to do as a leader yet.

I'm responsible for these men's lives and deaths. Because they fall under my command they become my responsibility. Because they have to do what I say, when I say it, no questions asked, every decision I make affects them. In one month we will be entering a war zone. And the most frightening thought that I can fathom, beyond thought for my own life or even taking the life of another human being; beyond whatever changes I might undergo and whatever person I might become through the trials ahead, is that one of these might lose their life because they were carrying out one of my orders. God save any of us from such a day.

Walking in a winter wonderland

Winter has come to Fort Drum, New York. It comes, as usual well before the official start date and with a vengeance. The two days prior to the pictures you see below my platoon was outside from sun up in negative twenty degree weather to sundown when we topped off at about seven degrees. WE made the most of it. The pictures you see below are mostly from our mandatory fun day at a ski park not far from base. I neither skied nor snow boarded, as winter sports mostly don't seem to tickle my fancy. BUt I got some great shots. If you play your cards right then someday one of you readers might even be the one who convinces me to go ice skating for the first time. Any takers?

winter is my least favorite season, but it has its moments, you should have been here to share it with me 

nice 

this jump was just murdering people. luckily I was there to capture it 

you should have seen this guy land, it was awesome : ) 

we have no idea why he's wearing a backpack 

HAHA this is one of my squad leaders after he wiped out 

Sergeant Pulver fell 

this is tubing, I didn't do that either, maybe some of you are starting to think me unadventuresome 

this is outside my window, it's cold, but it looks nice