My most recent promotion, to corporal, leaves me in the position of a Team Leader in an infantry line squad. This means I have three other men, all younger than me in this instance, under my direct command. Command means they do what I say, when I say it. This is the most terrifying responsiblity I can imagine.

Today I had to stand in front of one of these men and cut the rank off his collar, taking something from him that he'd worked for nearly two years to earn, enduring the look on his face with an expression of utter discompassion on mine. Those of you not in the military, which if I'm not mistaken is practically all of you, probably can't understand the sheer humiliation of having your rank taken away from you. We take a lot of pride in what we do. Whether that's healthy or not, sometimes that pride, in ourselves, our countries, and our duty, is the only thing that keeps us going. Ripping those tiny cloth squares off of that young man's uniform was the hardest thing I've had to do as a leader yet.

I'm responsible for these men's lives and deaths. Because they fall under my command they become my responsibility. Because they have to do what I say, when I say it, no questions asked, every decision I make affects them. In one month we will be entering a war zone. And the most frightening thought that I can fathom, beyond thought for my own life or even taking the life of another human being; beyond whatever changes I might undergo and whatever person I might become through the trials ahead, is that one of these might lose their life because they were carrying out one of my orders. God save any of us from such a day.